When I was first given the task, I had a million thoughts running through my head. I wanted to start writing right away. But then I started letting it settle and figured it would be the perfect thing to think about on Saturday's long run. I talked about it with Katie, I talked about it with my mom, I talked about it with Boyfriend, and I thought about it when I ran alone.
I really like running, I can finish a half marathon, it's just that extra 13.1 that has me feeling a little nervous. It has a lot to do with my disappointment in my prior performance. It has a lot to do with my asthma and feeling like I would never be as fast as I used to be. It has a lot to do with me always being hard on myself and always thinking I can do better, push harder, run faster.
And then yesterday, on a solo five miler on the quiet streets of my hometown, it hit me. Yes I was sometimes afraid, yes I realize I have to adjust my goals for this race, and yes I have to deal with my asthma. But I was already two weeks deep in training, I was working with a totally different coach, I had built up a great base running all year long, and the pure and simple fact that I had signed up and committed myself to this race was proof that I wasn't so scared after all.
I need this race to prove to myself that 26.2 is not that scary. It will not chew me up and spit me back out barely alive. I will not need to quit running for months afterwards I will not get burnt out. I will train smart. I will race smart. And when Philadelphia is over I will keep going.