Sunday, October 24, 2010

Fall off the horse, get right back on and keep riding

Ever notice how there are times in your life when the words flow freely from your finger tips, thinking faster than you can type, wanting to record every second in the perfect words? And then there are times when nothing comes at all. You sit and stare and words float around in your brain but cannot choreograph themselves into anything you think is worth reading. Or suddenly you find yourself consumed by the busyness of life and don't want to waste a single second of living recounting every detail. But then again maybe you don't want to share with others that things are not going well. You already think you have let down the people closest to you, do you really want to tell the rest of the world you skipping almost three workouts in a row?

I guess my life lately has taken me on a combination of the last three. Busy + not knowing what to say + being in a running funk has me left with a big blank spot in my blog for the past two weeks.

I didn't want to write about how I was frustrated with running, or how I felt like it was sucking up all my time. I didn't want to write about my encounter with a crazy guy on a bike on one of my runs. I didn't want to write about how I hate the cold, I hate the dark, and I hate the treadmill. Even though my asthma is about ten times worse in the summer, I love that the daylight lasts so much longer and I look forward to my mid distance week day runs instead of dreading them. I didn't want to write about how I was so consumed my social events, weddings, bachelorette parties, trips to Manhattan that I almost completely skipped my long run last weekend.

But it wasn't long before I realized I was in a funk, and the only way out was to tell Jack about it. Not because I wanted someone to rant to - but because I knew it would make me own up to my slacking and figure out a way to make things worse. I was terrified that Jack would be mad, that I wasn't doing everything I was supposed to, but I wrote the email anyways. And of course my fears were irrational, and he told me not to worry missing a few workouts wouldn't kill me.

My major goal for this marathon is not a time goal. It is not to qualify for anything, it is not even to PR. I want to enjoy my training, and that means sometimes putting my friends or my work first, and putting running on the back burner for a day or two. Although I love to add up the numbers of my mileage and the times of my splits, I want to live that well balanced life in which my friends, my relationship, my work and my running. So I skipped a few workouts last week. But I went to Team Challenge Practice Saturday morning for a nice 8.5 miles, and then another 8.5 miles afterwards brining me to 17 miles total and I was feeling great the whole time. I was even feeling great afterwards as I spend the afternoon dancing around to some excellent old school boy bands while cleaning my apartment.

The Philadelphia Marathon is in exactly four weeks. In fact four weeks from now I will be recovering (hopefully well) on the couch with Boyfriend snuggled under a blanket or maybe even sleeping. I know how much I want to run this race, I know how much I want to run a GOOD race. Four weeks. It's going to take some planning and sometimes some sacrifice but I know I can make it all work out.

Four weeks.

xx Sara

1 comment:

Denise said...

we all go through funks. jack has some good tips on getting through, them too. you're in good hands.