workplace snacking guilt and reversing some bad habits.

I know I have taken an extended break on this blogging thing. In fact I have taken a break from a lot of social media as a whole, and truth be told it's been great. It feels fresh. Life has been crazy, planning a wedding has kept me constantly running around doing things. But this little thing has been nagging at me and I just had to get it out.

Working in an office of all women, someone is always on a diet, breaking their diet, promising to start a diet tomorrow, or talking about the latest fad in diet pills and miracle weight loss tips. It's mind boggling. There is also always someone bringing in the batch of brownies they made last night, or the cupcakes leftover from their daughters birthday party. I happen to have the misfortune of working dead smack in the middle of the snack zone, right next to the table where everyone likes to place their sweet treats.

With a little over six months left to the wedding, I am finally starting to take my healthy eating seriously. I have always had issues with wanting to not worry about what I eat, but at the same time wishing I could slim down in certain areas *just a titch*. The problem I've always had is never really having a goal of when or probably the motivation to really put in the work.

When I was training for races, it was all about running and nothing else. And I was so hungry I couldn't tell myself no. Winter set it, the running stopped, life got busy, work took over my life and I still couldn't tell myself no. I wanted that ice cream after dinner. I wanted that cupcake with my lunch. I wanted that cookie, or donuts, or whatever that my co-workers had brought in that was staring me in the face.

Did I gain weight? the scale would tell you no. I probably lost weight because I was loosing muscle. But I started feeling uncomfortable in my clothes. It started as just sometimes, when shopping and trying things on. I would leave the store depressed over one body part or another. Then a few times while getting dressed for work. I just didn't feel in shape, and I knew if I didn't start to make a change now, I would end up slowly progressing down this road of gaining a pound or two, here and there until I was one the "before" versions of the before and after segments of health magazines.

Now the thing that gets me in all of this, is if I so even much as mention anything closely related to the fact that I am "watching what I eat" (because I refuse to refer to it as a diet) at work, I get dirty looks from my co-workers. Yes I understand, I am not overweight, or fat by any means. I have a healthy BMI, I exercise regularly, and from the waist up I am mostly happy with the way I look. (it's always those damn hips and thighs isn't it ladies!). That being said, if I notice that I am starting to engage in some unhealthy habits why do I feel attacked when I try to correct my behavior. It's no secret that as you get older your metabolism slows down, so why would I continue to act in ways that will only hurt me later on in life? Why is it only socially acceptable for overweight people to be on a diet or try to loose weight? I'm not judging you for your habits, (ok maybe sometimes I do, but it's a bad BAD habit I am trying REALLY hard to break) all I ask is for you to not judge me for mine. If I am the only one who doesn't want to order pizza for lunch, just let me. Don't make comments about how I'll "just run it off later". That just shows how ignorant you really are. If I don't eat one of the brownies you slaved over to make from scratch last night, don't try to force it on me by saying I am already skinny enough.

I don't tell you NOT to eat a brownie because you probably don't need the extra calories. That would be rude.