Sunday, January 17, 2010

Setbacks and baby steps.

I never thought I would find myself in this position. Trying to juggle work, personal life, and running all at once. Not wanting any of the three to be anything less than perfect. Jealous of friends of mine who were jumping on the half marathon bandwagon. How could I be jealous after all I had accomplished in the past three years? Mad that I hadn't finished my last race due in insufficient training. I just have to remember it doesn't matter what other people are doing or how far or fast they can run. What matters is where I am and that I am working towards achieving my goals.
I am doing more now that I did three months ago - I workout three days a week after work! That is HUGE since getting new job responsibilities over a year ago. What's funny is how you always miss what you don't have. When I am running and training I feel amazing. I feel strong and happy like I can conquor anything that comes at me. But I miss nights going out to happy hour with friends or careless weekend plans and not worrying about fitting in a long run.
And yet when I give up running, or cut back on my workouts I miss being fast and strong. I miss feeling great about my body. So really it's just a matter of balance. I am glad that I took some time off to figure myself out. Learn how to love my job, learn how to be in a relationship. But now I feel like I have those things under control and I want to go back to tackling the challenge of the half marathon. My goal was two in one year but who knows. Maybe if I stay in shape all winter I'll be able to tackle three in a year.
Any time I find myself getting jealous of other people I remind myself how happy I am with ALL the aspects of my life. Running does not equal my whole life - even though it may seem like it sometimes! There isn't a single thing I would give up if I had to trade something for being faster or more in shape. And remembering that is what makes it all ok.


No comments: