Life in Limbo

It has been one day since Broad Street, two days since the University City 5K, and two weeks since the UNITE Rutgers 1/2 marathon. Boston 13.1 half marathon with Team Challenge isn't for 7 weeks and 5 days. So pretty much I am just chilling out here in running limbo. One race over, goal exceeded, one race in the distance, goal still undetermined.

While in limbo, of course I choose to run a few races, but more for the fun and the memories than a finish time. I understand that, other runners understand that, but it's the non-runner circle I'm having a little trouble with. Of course I know this is not uncommon, they don't understand much and I have to give them a break I can't really expect them to get it with out being there. But how do you go into the office after everyone knows you ran two races over the weekend and admit you ran some pretty awful times with out them thinking why you try so hard? I guess in the end all it boils down to is why does it matter what they think anyways?

I'll be the first one to tell you "No Excuses, just go out there and run". So why do I find myself saying things like "It was hot and miserable" and "I wasn't racing for time I was just running for fun". Aren't these excuses? Or are they reasons? Or maybe they don't matter at all and I should hold my head high when I say "I finished the race at that was good enough for me". I know I should be proud. Correction, I AM proud. But it's easier to believe when I only have to tell it to myself.

Why do we find ourselves so desperate to please people that don't understand. Why do we feel the need to explain the details and dynamics as if they are going to suddenly have a new appreciation for what I do? Because unfortunately our society tends to judge, more than it should. And no one wants to be judged so we come prepared, defensive and ready to strike with reason after reason when they ask why you are not as fast as the other person they know who ran the same race. Short answer, because I am not that person. I am myself and I live my life according to my own rules. My rules that say, these two races I did this weekend were for me, and as long as I am happy what else really matters? Why should I spend my time trying to justify what I do?

Tomorrow the hard work starts again. I have enjoyed these two weeks off, two weeks of easy running, short distances and lots of sleep. Tomorrow I dip my foot into the ice bath of training. Painful to think about, hard to get started, but once you're there it all just goes numb and you know it is more than worth it in the end.

xx Sara

Broad Street

To be quite honest in all the years I have run Broad Street, I never usually run for time. It's always been a stepping stone to another race or a race to open the season with. So when the weather advisories starting coming out about how hot and humid Sunday's weather would be I was not really disappointed. Add to that the fact that I had been sick for a week and opted not to run to try and get better. I was super psyched to be meeting up with a college friend of mine, H, and to get to spend time running with her. She had been a great running parter until she moved out of state about six months ago. Today would be kind of like a long run, that I paid a lot of money, got a free (not so attractive) T-shirt, and pinned a number to my shirt for. And free food at the end. I love free food.

Geared up and ready to go. And yes I am standing on my pink yoga mat!

Clouds were in the sky and rain on the ground as we walked out of the house, I could deal with an overcast day so long as there was no rain. Now looking back on it maybe a run in the rain would have been better. We rain into about three detours driving from my house to a friend of mines neighborhood where I knew my car would be safe during the race. I could have parked at the stadiums around the finish but don't like trying to leave parking lots in crowds. Boyfriend and I headed for the subway a few blocks away, runners were out everywhere with the same plan. Best thing about this race was runners ride the subway free just by showing your bib number. Score! The subway line runs directly under the race course and it should have been a piece of cake to just hop a train and head for the start. Except 30,000 other people had the same plan so trying to "just hop on" the train was easier said then done. We waiting for half an hour, and were passed by five trains before getting on.

Now I love anytime a bunch of runners are together. These are the people than get me. I usually look around at everyones outfits and sneakers seeing what brands and models each different person favors. People watching, runners only special edition. It was excellent. When the train finally arrive at it's destination everyone made their way off the cars and into an even bigger sea of people. Right away I noticed a line into the McDonald's and could only assume this was for the bathroom. It wound around inside the restaurant and clear across the street. Of course it was all women. Up until this moment I was feeling a little bit like I could use a bathroom stop, but there was no way I was waiting in any lines that long. Finding H in this crowd was actually pretty easy, since there were color coded corals and I knew which side of the street she was on.

It was about 8:10 when boyfriend left me to go meet up with his friend a few miles down the race course. And it was 9:00 before H and I even crossed the start line! There were so many people there was a wave start and we just happened to be in the last wave. The start was full of spectators cheering us on but we avoided getting caught up in all the excitement. Slow and steady was definitely the motto of the day. The air was hot and thick, like standing in a giant steam filled bathroom and trying to run, but we took it slow determined to make it to the end.

Found Boyfriend around Girard and he took this artistically fuzzy picture of me (on the left)

We pushed on through every mile, I stopped checking my watch around mile 4 for my pace. The water stops were plentiful, our pace stayed easy and a apart from the heat we were having a good time.

In short it was humid and miserable, and yet the best ten mile run I could ask for in such weather. Good conversation with a good friend, GREAT crowd, and running through about twelve if not more, spraying fire hydrants. Running through that last quarter mile inside the gates of the Navy Yard was not the same sense of accomplishment I felt when finishing any of my half marathons, but it was accomplishment none the less.

xx Sara

First time 5k

To me it felt like any other Saturday morning. Wake up, eat a small breakfast, and go out for a run. But for Boyfriend it was The Big Day. The big day of his first EVER 5k race!! I was pretty excited, but also a little nervous as it was supposed to be a very hot day, the race didn't start until 11am, and it was not a very flat course. Breakfast was English muffins and LOTS of water although we both also needed a cup of coffee to wake us up at first. And then we were off.

The University City 5K is part of Drexel University's Alumni weekend festivities, and the course is a double loop around campus. Since we are both alum we totally knew our way around, and I decided to park a few blocks away near where I used to live on campus because I knew parking was available and best of all FREE. Of course, like most of my plans, this one was not very thought out as we had to walk about six or so blocks to the start area and pick up our T-shirts and race info (Boyfriend was very excited to have a bib number on his shirt. Being very unfamiliar with shorter distance races he wasn't sure he would get one) back to the car to ditch our stuff, and then back to the start. Only then did I realize they had an makeshift gear check in a nearby building. Although this race is in it's eighteenth year, it seemed somewhat small and not super organized. Had we not been affiliated with Drexel I don't know if I would have wanted to sign up so bad. There was a lot of standing around and waiting. And waiting. Sometimes there was stretching, and a little chatting, and talking about the race, and strategy. I looked around and all the college students gathered in groups in the small bits of shade, most of them belonging to a sorority or fraternity. I always try to figure out of people are fast or not. I know it is not important, it doesn't matter, but it passes the time just to guess.

Bib pinned on and ready to race!

"Push Harder" He writes on his shoes just like me!!

And then they were telling us it was time to line up in the street, trying to stay in the shade as long as possible. I loved watching the men and women I knew would lead the race. They were the ones who had been warming up beforehand. Doing striders along the sidewalk, making it look like nothing. The start was as simple as "Ready, Set, GO!" I kid you not. Getting up that hill was not very fun but we kept it slow and smart. There were lots of groups of students in "volunteer" T-shirts cheering for us along the sides of the street, but I was surprised when I saw people stop and walk before we even got to mile 1. I was even more surprised at the need for a water stop before we got to mile 1. I am obviously not schooled in the ways of the 5k.

Once up the hill, which only really kicked our butts for four blocks, it was left turn, left turn, left turn and just keep on going. What goes up must come down and so of course after the second turn was a glorious downward slope. All the while I am asking Boyfriend how he feels, how is his breathing, etc. I am being the ever peppy cheerleader and keep saying things like, "looking good, running strong, very nice, pace is great etc." I can tell he probably just wants me to shut up and run. I miss the 1 mile mark so I cannot take our split time but I don't want to push too hard so I figure wherever we are, we are, even if it's slow.

But when we finish our first loop and head into our second I notice the race clock and catch a glimpse of the number 15. This is excellent, I say as we head back uphill for a second time. around 15 minutes at the halfway mark is great, but the hill takes a toll and we slow down for a bit. It is hot. All the students who were rowdy and cheering on our first lap are loosing their pep. The once plentiful water stops are dry, somehow they ran out of cups and have resorted to reaching into garbage cans of water and throwing them on the runners. halfway through that second loop I can feel that this is going to be such a good race. I am so proud of Boyfriend, not only for running in this heat but for pushing, because I can tell he is.

The last stretch of the race is mostly downhill but it is directly into the sun, and my goodness it is brutal. Miserable. But in those last few moments something comes over Boyfriend and he takes off, charging up hill and into the finishers shoot. I let him go, feeling my lovely friend nausea build in my stomach and watch him proudly cross the finish line and I glance down at my watch which reads 30:23. One of his best times. I have to admit being the emotional sap that I am I almost cry. I can't help it. When someone works so hard for something, and comes a long way from where they were you can't help it. It may not be a marathon or a half marathon but those are't for everyone. Just reaching out and deciding to run a 5k can be a scary thing too. I always said when we started doing longer runs outside together that 3 miles to him is like 10 miles to me, no matter how you slice it the first few times you do something it is T-O-U-G-H!

Later that afternoon when he asked when our next race should be, I beam with excitement The running bug has bitten and he is so hooked!

xx Sara

Looking for the light

The light at the end of the tunnel of this hot mess that is congestion and misery of course!

The first day off from running when I am sick almost comes as a relief. It is a real reason to take it easy, catch up on my daytime TV and just give my body a break. I guess getting sick is my body's way of saying "Hey, remember me? This vessel you've been beating up on with all your long runs lately? Give me a B-R-E-A-K!" And I totally get it body, I love and appreciate you so I will give you a days rest. And you know what I would even love to give you two, because you mean that much to me. But three days, and I am really starting to loose my patience.

With each passing day that my sinuses stayed blocked, I added a sad face and "sick" to my training calendar, knowing all too well I shouldn't push myself. I could almost feel the fitness draining out of my legs and my belly bloating up from no exercise. With out breathing right I wasn't even able to do yoga. Boo Hiss.

SICK. SICK. SICK. When will it end?

Thankfully yesterday I was able to breathe through my nose for a significant amount of the day and managed to hack up only half a lung, and that was in the morning. Feeling well enough for some exercise I decided a two-ish mile run/jog along the tow bath with Boyfriend would be just enough to make me feel like I wasn't turning into a sloth. I couldn't have asked for anything better, even the weather wanted to cooperate and get warmer for me. By the end of the whole thing I had even broken a (very tiny) sweat. Promptly upon returning home I took advantage of my current energy and positive attitude, rolled out the pink yoga mat, and did a nice 10 minute core workout.

What is that glimmer up ahead. . . could it be. . . light?

Things I can enjoy now that I can enjoy breathing: Running and Flowers!

xx Sara

lemon love

My love affair with Lululemon began where any great love affair should begin, in San Francisco, while training for my first half marathon. Confession: I was kind of a clueless college kid at the time and kept calling them "Lulumoon". I hope they will forgive me.

Fast forward a few years, a lot more miles on my sneakers and some time at at real life big girl job in the fashion industry. I started to hear ladies around the office talking about the amazing butt enhancing capabilities of this pant made by some company called Lululemon. What? Who are these people and why are they so amazing? So I Google them like any curious twenty something person does the second they come across something they do not know about. Much to my surprise and also to my embarrassment they were none other than the Lulumoon of my past. Also I discovered they were full of fabulous and wonderful workout clothes of all kinds.

Sometime later my job opened me up to the wide world of Twitter and in turn it opened me back up to Lululemon. I loved browsing their website, falling in love with item after item, creating a perfect imaginary wardrobe for the life where all I do all day is work out. Of course, my budget is pretty small for the non-essential (even though I would like to consider anything athletic as an essential), so for a long time all I could do was dream.

It would be a lazy Sunday afternoon in the city, after picking up the latest copy of Runner's world at Barnes and Noble, that I would come across an actual Lululemon store. My eyes widened with glee and I stopped in my tracks just looking at the mannequins in the window. I knew a store like this was the last place Boyfriend wanted to be, but thankfully there were some chairs for him to rest on, and quite honestly I was instantly distracted by nylon and spandex in all the vibrant colors of the rainbow. The sales staff was cheerful and helpful, I know way too much about clothing construction and fit for my own good but they had plenty of helpful advice. And then I saw them, the Boogie On Short. I decided right then and there I NEEDED to own this short. It was a perfect mix of soft, tight, short, and awesome. Plus it had a bright colored waistband, and who doesn't love a bright colored waistband? I showed Boyfriend, he was not pleased that I wanted to walk out of the house in shorts so tight or so short. But I wanted them. I had to literally (but gently) be pulled out of the store by my arm with the painful reminder that I just could not afford these shorts right now. It was a sad time.

I had to find a way to justify buying myself a little something. And so last Saturday, after a nice 8 mile long run I decided I deserved a treat. At first this treat was a bottle of teal nail polish and a trip to the farmers market but when I couldn't find the polish I wanted I found myself (how convenient!) right in front of non other than Lululemon once again. And this time I was on my own, just a woman in a store with her wallet and no one to tell her no! I entered, almost too exited to contain myself. I was leaving with a new pair of shorts, I just didn't know which ones yet. I decided to be open minded, because if there is anything my life in fashion has taught me it is something just aren't meant to fit every body. So I picked up three different styles.

Boogie On Shorts; Run:Groovy Run Shorts; and Run:Speed Shorts.

While I was browsing the massive collection of Remix Lulu Hoodies the ever cheerful sales girls came over to take my things to a fitting room. This prompted a brief discussion of my name (Sara) and it's various different spellings, and how it's ridiculously common. Tell me something I don't know. But the girls were great and I began trying on shorts.

The Run:Groovy Run Shorts were up first, and although they were comfortable they were longer than what I was looking for.

Boogie On Shorts were up next, I had a feeling these were going to be the one. After all I had already loved them for so long. But for as comfortable as they were, not too tight, weightless and soft, they just couldn't contain my booty. This is no ones fault of course, and I for one am glad I had the sense to jog in place in the fitting room even if people could see my feet and thought I was crazy. At first I thought maybe I could just get them and pretend it wasn't that bad. But the three way mirror behind me said otherwise.

So now it was on to my last and final choice the Run:Speed short. Magical. Except too tight. Size up please? One was promptly brought to my room and as I slipped it on I quietly squealed with excitement. It was like thinking you had met the love of your life, been dumped, cried, and them met someone knew only to realize they were way better. Except with shorts and not boys. It was like wearing the most comfortable lounging around short, but with all the functionality of a running short. SUPER big plus, someone finally figured out a workable short rise to liner length ratio for my body shape! Side note most run shorts fit me in the liner but there is far too much length in the rise. I tend to roll the waistband down and the front crotch gets all baggy and bunchy and let's just say the look is not the most flattering. This short has the look of a split side but with a smart little bar tack at the sides so at least a little leg still remains covered. The Nylon/Lycra waistband, has an amazingly smooth feel with just the right amount of stretch to stay put on my hips with out *shudder* creating the dreaded muffin top. Oh and can we just for one second talk about the pocket? The wonderful ZIPPERED pocket in the back waistband so that my car key is no longer stabbing me in the hip when I put it into those little envelope waistband pockets? Genius.

I wanted to celebrate my excitement with the sales girls but I was sure they would not know what to make of such enthusiasm for a pair of shorts as I was currently experiencing. She did however suggest I check out the display for all the different colors available. I decided on black body, with white trim and a white waistband printed with random bursts of neon color. Things got even better when I received a discount for showing my registration for the upcoming Philadelphia Marathon.

I left the store that day with a little extra spring in my step. Do you think I'm a little bit of a crazy lady after reading how much I could love one company? Well that's ok if you do, I'll admit I can be a bit of a nut sometimes.

xx Sara

When being sick takes over

Laying in bed on a monday morning listening to the rain splatter against the window, I am only half glad that I am not at work. Half because, well believe it or not I actually like work. But I am sick. Not the occasional cough or runny nose sick, but the kind where I just feel like a ball of miserable. Where going out for a run is the farthest thing on my mind. But then again it's also the closest.

It's been about a week and a half since i've really given my body a good hard speed workout, and my legs are craving speed. They crave pain. I want to feel better first of all so I can breathe, but second so I can RUN. I want to just hop out of bed and do yoga. I want to stretch my muscles and have them feel alive. I want to do crunches, and plank exercises and have my abs scream out for mercy, and then do five more reps before I let them rest.

I often used to overlook small sicknesses, in favor of that one last workout for the week. So what that my nose is just a little stuffy, I feel fine! I need to run! But now I cannot necessarily say that is the smartest approach. I don't want to sound like I am being lazy, I hate all things lazy. But I do think there is some merit to the idea that when you get sick, you should give your body the rest it deserves so it can heal and get better. And when you are back to your best, you go out for a run and see where you stand. Did you loose a few days of fitness, well maybe. But is it the end of the world? No.

So today I will stay in bed. I will do nothing but aimlessly wander the internet while drinking orange juice and eating soup and occasionally taking a nap. I fill myself up with over the counter cough syrups and cross my fingers and hop and pray that I feel better soon. Who knows, maybe I'll feel better when all this rain goes away. And I can celebrate with a nice easy run along the river in the late evening sun.

xx Sara

The best goal is one that can be achieved

Now that I am officially registered for the Philadelphia Marathon, thoughts about what I want to accomplish from this race have begun bouncing around inside my head. The first thing that comes to mind is finishing. Finishing with out dying. Finish with out dying and not be burnt out when it's over so I can stay in shape over the winter again.

I table these thoughts for the most part though, the race is so far away and I have two other races planned in between that will also need goals. After all every race should be for a reason, no matter what that reason is. I'll admit I put a lot on my plate for the year but twelve months is a long time and there is a reason for every race a picked.

The topic came up once again in the middle of my Saturday morning 8 mile run through Valley Forge Park with Team Challenge. As Coach Jack joined up with our group around mile 4.5 he began to ask about my thoughts and goals for Philly. Giving him a brief overview of my running history he stopped me when he asked where I had come up with my goal of 4 hours for Hartford. I stopped, at least in my head my thoughts did a double take. Because I wanted it? Because It was a nice neat and clean round number? Because I KNEW I couldn't train my body to be ready to qualify for Boston with 3:40 at my second marathon? But where had we come up with that number, had we just wanted to set some crazy scary goal? And how did I feel when I failed to meet it (don't forget Hartford was a PR in the marathon for me, but at the finish it didn't matter).

And then Coach said something to me that made so much sense and made me wonder if my goal for Hartford had been so off base it was setting me up for disappointed from the very beginning. He said your goals should match your abilities, and in the months before the race I should run a test race to see where my speed is at before determining what my finish time should be. Wait a minute, you mean I should make my goal logical and achievable? It all made sense so why had I not done anything like this before? Except I had. The UNITE half marathon at rutgers had been my most realistic goal setting experience of my racing life. I had put a lot of consideration into the kind of shape I was in at the time, and what pace I could actually keep up for the entire race. By being realistic about my achievements, I not only met my goal but I beat it. And even though it was eight minutes slower than my PR it didn't matter.

So let's review. In one race I set my goal too high and even though I PR'd I didn't meet my goal so I was disappointed. In another race I set my goal at a realistic point, beat it, and even though I PR'd I was very happy. Hmmm. At least on thing I can conclude from this research is that meeting your goal equals happy, and I like being happy, so maybe I really do need to set smarter goals.

Something else that Coach pointed out to me was that I could think about goals that had nothing to do with time. I know there are definitely things I need to work on. I need to learn how to deal with my asthma. There is a lot of trial and error involved in that. Knowing how far to push myself, how far I can go, when I need to take my meds etc. I need to learn to train for a marathon with out being so burnt out at the end that I want to quit running all together. I need to learn to pace myself better over long distances, which I am steadily getting better at.

I am a much smarter runner now, I don't need to let other people set goals for me, to tell me what I can achieve. Although I welcome the help of other more experienced runners, and this is not to say that I did not learn a lot from my time training with Larry. I learned to be a really tough person, and to push myself, and to believe I could achieve great things. But just as much as I need to learn to accept my body for the shape and size it is, I need to accept my level of running for what it is. This year so far has been the best year of running so far. I have achieved a lot, I have had fun, learned to be flexible, and am steadily getting into better and better shape. I am not expecting things to change overnight.

At the end of Hartford I honestly wondered I remember being so miserable and disappointed that I wondered if maybe I was just not the type of person who was able to do marathons. When I said these words to Coach his answer was, well if you have done two marathons, I would say you are more than capable. This made sense in a way that had never occurred to me before. So maybe my goals in the past have been a little high. I guess it is the same way as in my life, I just aim at the very top, and even though where I land is pretty high that little note of failure nags the back of my mind more than my achievements. From now on I vow to focus on the achievable. I predict good things in my future.

xx Sara