Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The thing we dread the most is the thing we most want to do.

When Boyfriend calls me at 3:30 to say hi as he is driving home from work, he doesn't stay on the phone long. He says he doesn't want to keep me because I am very stressed. Only I am not stressed at all, and I tell him that. I am not stressed, upset, or any negative emotion. I have caught up on all my work and am helping out other members of the team. But for some reason my body just did not get the memo that it is not a day to be lazy, because I am TIRED. Ok and I will admit it I am feeling pretty anti social. Maybe it is the rain pouring down outside the window, or the fact that Boyfriend has promised me a tall bottle of red wine when I get home, but the last thing on my mind is going to the gym.

It's a Tuesday, which means I should be resting tonight after work but instead I will be trotting out four miles on the endless belt of boredom. Actually I will be churning out four mind numbingly difficult miles just to punish myself for the sluggish attitude I have had all day. This all because I did my longest run on a Sunday, and didn't want to go back to back into Monday. Instead I will run Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

I change my Itunes playlist from Carrie Underwood to Kanye West. Because yes, despite all the controversy surrounding him, I still love his Graduation album. It reminds me of the summer I graduated from college and several long lazy runs along the river. The right amount of chill vibe mixed with the kind of steady beat that keeps you going.

But this does not perk me up at all. The trouble is I want to do a hard workout. I want to do crunches, and lunges, and squats. I want my hamstrings and abs to burn, and shake and I want to feel like I am making progress. I want to be in the gym but I know I am tied to my desk. Don't get me wrong I love my job, I love my work, but I WANT to be in the gym. I want to be sweating and working hard. I want my headphones on, blasting rhythm in my ears as I go for another set of reps. Just thinking about my workout is getting me more energized. And that's when I realize my lethargy is not being caused by my lack of desire to work out. The fact that I am NOT working out is causing me to feel lazy.

Twenty two more minutes and I will be in my glory.

xx Sara

1 comment:

Bethany said...

I completely understand you! There are times when I don't even have an hour to squeeze in a quick workout and it frustrates me so much. I bet you're running by now. . . xoxo