Thursday, September 9, 2010

Playing hookey

You know those days where nothing is going right? Everything seems to be wrong and all your mistakes come tumbling down into your lap. Yesterday was one of those days. And I literally couldn't wait to leave the office and head home for a 7 mile run. The weather was gorgeous, not to hot, not to cold. A Goldilocks just right late summer evening. I was stressed to the max. I knew running would clear my head and serve as the perfect outlet for my frustrations.

But when I walked in the door to my apartment I decided to take five minutes to sit down and decompress. Five minutes was all it took to turn me off completely from the idea of running. At first I tried to guilt trip myself. I thought about pushing it off until tomorrow. In the end I gave up and went to make dinner. The rest of my night, although relaxing still felt lacking. I knew the real reason I wanted to skip my run. Time. There just wasn't enough of it in the day. I wanted to cook dinner, I wanted to go to bed before 11pm. Running is just taking up too much time. But I still want it. What a dilemma.

Today, although I had all the optimism in the world nothing was going my way. I promised myself I would make up for yesterdays missed miles, but before I knew it, it was after 6pm and I was still at the office. Boyfriend and I had dinner plans, I had things to prepare before visiting a friend of mine after work tomorrow. Yet again, not enough time. No running.

Partly, I was disappointed that I had scared my "perfect record". I had run every workout that was given to me since the very beginning of training. I had been so proud of myself, and my dedication. But with this little miss comes the realization that no one is perfect, and I cannot expect to hit the mark every single time. Old Sara would have looked at this as a huge set back. Old Sara would have blamed work for stressing her out and gotten angry that there wasn't enough time in the day. But when I started this journey I promised myself I would change. Even if that means how I react to set backs.

So I am taking this little bump in the road as just that. So I missed a run. I realize it was one of my longer runs of the week, but I am not going to beat myself up for not running a workout I am too burnt out to do. Tomorrow I will run my four miles as planned. Saturday I will run my 15 as planned. And a week from now I will be forgetting this ever happened. Part of this experience is the journey, figuring out how to make running work around my life, my friends, my boyfriend, and work. Every now and again I have to realize that running cannot be number one. Like Jack said to me today "Running, like a good friend, will always be there when you are ready to go back to it"

Do you ever get in a running slump? Loose your passion for the road? Do you let it get to you or brush it off like nothing and move on?

xx Sara


That Pink Girl said...

6 miles will NOT make a difference in the end. What's most important is that you are listening to your body. Maybe, just maybe it needed a break. Chalk it up to rest and don't beat yourself up over it!

Rachel said...

I totally know this feeling, and I'm still struggling to deal with it. I know there's a fine line between pushing yourself in training and doing too much, but sometimes it's hard to see. In the end, it's about the big picture. A couple missed runs don't make or break you. If anything, you'll return rested and ready to run!

Black Labs and Lilly said...

I think this happens to everyone at one point or another, especially when you are training for something big like you are! I remember having a break down in the middle of February, I was getting a cold and I just didn't feel like running, I was tired and just needed a break. 48 hours later I felt refreshed and I was ready to go!